Live and Lead Like It Matters! Because Everything Matters

A few weeks ago, a family acquaintance who had seemed fine on a Sunday was rushed to the hospital by Tuesday with chest pains. This led to a lengthy hospital stay, a quadruple bypass surgery, and two additional surgeries—all on the same day. He is not out of the woods yet. This was truly life‑threatening.

Today, I had lunch with a client and friend whose mother has early‑onset frontal lobe dementia. Her mother no longer knows her daughter’s name or who she is. This will most certainly be her mother’s last Christmas. My friend is 32. Her mother is 64.

Wake‑up calls send us important messages—if we are willing to listen. You’ve had them. Sometimes you’ve ignored them; sometimes you’ve absorbed their message. They remind us to pay attention to our hearts, our overall health, our relationships, and our lives.

December—A Time for Reflection

As I’ve reflected over these past weeks, I’ve realized that wake‑up calls also carry powerful messages about our leadership. They may not be life‑threatening in nature, but there is meaning waiting for us in both the major and minor events of life.

As coaches, we often ask leaders about their leadership philosophy: Do you see leadership as a privilege or a pain? Almost everyone answers that it is a privilege. And yet, do we all lead that way—every day?

Everyone Is Watching

I remember a conversation with John Furlong, CEO of the 2010 Winter Olympics. After the Games, we spoke about the lessons he learned about leadership. One insight has stayed with me ever since: people are always watching the leader.

They are watching you in meetings, at the water cooler, and in casual conversations—everywhere. As John said, “Sometimes they want to be like you. Sometimes they even want to be you.” People are constantly taking cues from who you are and how you be as a leader.

From John, I learned that leadership creates a ripple effect—one that extends far beyond what we may ever see.

Our friend and extraordinary leader, Kent Johnson, GM/COO of Baltimore Country Club, recently shared a short training video with me on the power of true leadership. It’s from Delta Air Lines and well worth six minutes of your time. So, who is watching you—and what are they learning?

The Power of Small Things

Over the years, I’ve noticed that great leadership is found in the micro‑moments, not just the milestones. Often, it is the small, seemingly insignificant things that matter most.

Years ago, I participated in a club tour—one of many I’ve been on—but this one stood out. As we were escorted through each room of a stately, elegant clubhouse, the manager greeted every single team member by name. He made eye contact, shook hands or waved, and shared something personal about each employee. There was a mutual connection and energy. It was an extraordinary celebration of people. It wasn’t staged or scripted. He genuinely knew his team. For this leader, the tour wasn’t about the building—it was about the people who brought the building to life and made the work experience special.

I never forgot that tour. And I’ve never experienced another quite like it.

When it comes to leading culture, no one truly cares about the values statements displayed on the walls. They care about the values we live. People care deeply about how they are treated by their leader—and by one another—every single day. Leadership becomes a daily expression of what matters, regardless of title.

Ask yourself:

• Do you wait for the big moments to recognize others?
• Are you known for the small things?
• Were your values visible this year?

Kindness as a Leadership Strategy

Kindness is often mistaken for softness. Yet, when used intentionally, kindness is one of the most strategic acts of leadership. It requires awareness, humility, and the courage to place humanity above ego.

A handwritten note. A spontaneous compliment. A small act of generosity. These gestures cost nothing, yet they communicate value. They foster loyalty. They ignite and inspire.

As you reflect on this year, consider the kindness you offered—and the kindness you may have withheld.

• What if kindness were intentional, not random?

Human Connection as a Competitive Advantage

It’s likely true that AI is here to stay. It will continue to disrupt jobs and industries. This is a call to wake up, prepare, accelerate skills, and become increasingly adaptable.

Yet another truth remains just as powerful: in a world of constant change, what people crave most at work is connection—to their leaders, to their colleagues, and to purpose. Connection is no longer a “soft skill.” It is a competitive advantage—especially in private clubs.

As coaches working with individuals and teams, we consistently observe that teams who feel connected communicate better, collaborate more effectively, and deliver genuine hospitality.

This year, ask yourself:

• Did I build connection, or unintentionally create distance?
• Did I ask for results without first building relationships?
• Did people feel valued—or merely used?

A Year‑End Invitation

As this year ends, we invite you to heed the quiet wake‑up call that a new year brings. Take time to reflect:

• What moments mattered most?
• Where did you help someone feel seen?
• What will you carry forward—and what needs to change?

Leadership is not always defined by big decisions. It is shaped through every interaction, every choice, and every gesture—every day.

Lead like it matters. Because everything truly does.

It has been an honor and a pleasure to support the members of CMAA this year. Shelley and Kevin extend warm holiday wishes to you and your families for a bright and meaningful year ahead.