The Best Gift Ever… Your Presence!

Sunday morning my husband and I were driving near a usual busy intersection close to my neighborhood. As we approached the stoplight the emergency siren screamed. The lights flashed intensely through the drivers’ side of our vehicle as traffic came to a brief pause allowing the ambulance to pass through the intersection perpendicular to us. All but one vehicle came to a halt. As we approached the intersection and began to apply the breaks, a car swiftly passed us on the left without hesitation. Unaware. The sirens shrieked even louder, the lights flashed even brighter and as the ambulance moved through the intersection, so did the vehicle beside us. It was though we were watching it in slow motion. Within inches of a tragic ending, the vehicle screeched loudly and veered just in time to avoid colliding with the side of the ambulance. Time stood still for a moment.

A huge wake-up call. Time to reflect.

How many times have we experienced those kinds of reminders – the ones that, over and over again, jog our memory to our mortality and prompt us to pay attention to the world around us? What if? And why does it take a near emergency (or an illness or a loss) to awaken?

How many times have we (myself definitely included here) pretended to listen to a team member, a family member, or a club member, all the time focused on the to-do list in our head, our own agenda, the upcoming meeting, or the utility bill we need to pay by the end of the day? In how many conversations do we fake our presence, as if that other person really didn’t matter, and wouldn’t notice? As if the text, the email, or the passerby was more important. And how many times do we walk away with regret, noticing our absence and vowing to pay attention next time? And then we repeat our multitasking. Or worse yet, we walk away, unaware of the negative impact we have just had on another human being. Then we repeat our multitasking. And we continue to proudly wear our badge of honor entitled “I’m busy.”

Over these past several months we have been inundated with terms like work/life balance, the great resignation, the great reshuffle, the big quit, the quiet quit, and more. There are articles upon articles on how to recruit and keep employees, and some fabulous ones on creating culture. And yet, one of the easiest solutions to creating an extraordinary life and leading an extraordinary team (or family or community) doesn’t need an article, a book, or a course. The solution isn’t sexy. It has few bells and whistles, and no trophies. And yet, in our culture, it’s profound and powerful. It simply needs us. It’s our ability to be present. To “be where our feet are.” To be here and nowhere else. What if this was the secret to leadership and life?

In our Extraordinary Leader Program we have a leader who does not own a cell phone. Yes, you read that correctly. 2022—no cell phone. And this leader lives a purposeful, fulfilling life that includes leading and working with others. No cell phone.

A huge wake-up call. Time to reflect.

This may not be about throwing away the cell phone. However, it is about increasing our awareness in how we are impacting and influencing others. It is about how we are choosing to live and lead. Choosing. It’s all a choice.

Let’s practice some gift giving! Here’s a simple reminder for all of us when we are about to engage in a conversation:

• Start with intention—how do I want to show up?
• Put down the phone
• Turn off the computer or screen
• Silence the surrounding noise—in the room, and in our minds

And then listen intently to the person (or team) we are with. Be genuine. Be curious. Ask questions. Show compassion. Do less talking and more listening. Engage. Make them feel like the most important person in the world. Watch what happens. This just may be the most important conversation of a lifetime, or at least, the most important gift you can give in that moment.

“To the world you may just be one person, but to one person, you may be the world.” Dr. Seuss

Wishing you an Extraordinary Holiday Season. May we all give thanks and most of all, our presence!